It has been 7 years since we purchased our farm here in Missouri! While Cliff and I are very fortunate to not experience the 7 year itch in our relationship, I certainly experience one in life. Hindsight provides a lot, and it provides me perspective on my patterns and habits. I find myself itching for a change, a turnover, a novel experience, or a little bit of a makeover of my life every seven years or so – especially as it relates to purpose. However, each time I experience one, I see now that it’s more of a refinement, and not a total turnover. I imagine this like a spiral that spins upwards and inwards and passes by the same point every seven years or so and gradually reaches a pinnacle.

I have always heard and truly believe that life comes in cycles of 7. At 21 I met Cliff and the direction of my life totally changed. Prior to meeting him, I was certain I’d stay singe and dedicate may life to environmental health by traveling the world working for a nonprofit with the goal of sustainable and equitable 3rd world development. And boom, three weeks after my 21st birthday there he was. I spent some years traveling in a camper with him, searching for work, then ended up back at school to get a teaching license. A new approach to the same passion: teaching kids to love our planet and foster a desire to care for it. I spent a little over 6 years teaching middle school science. At 28 we decided to have our first child. After she arrived, the itch came again. I wanted more time with her and our little family, doing what we love: tending our garden together and sharing our passion for local foods and nature with our friends. The hunt for property began.

We purchased our farm in October of 2019, uprooted our lives and work in Colorado and took the next step, an even more hands on approach to environmental wellness: living closer to nature and aligning our lives with her cycles while growing food and sharing this passion with our community. This step was akin to taking the bull by the horns and for some time the bull was definitely winning. It tossed us round and round into projects and facets of farming with which we never intended to become absorbed. But somewhere in the last couple years, around age 35, I found my footing and have begun to set it straight again. And let go of those horns!

However, now that I have officially not been a teacher longer than I was one, it leaves me feeling a bit vulnerable and insecure. Title-less in a world that loves to label. Who am I? What value do I bring to this world? How do I stack up and fit into this puzzle of society? Where do I stand? I moved here as a science teacher to “become a farmer” and ended up doing a little farming, lots of baking, some home design and diy renovating, a bit of writing, some marketing, a lot of parenting, and even 3 years of homeschooling. Most of this brought feelings of imposter syndrome without a certificate, degree or diploma to accompany it. So now what? Chase certificates in fields I’m interested in for validation of my worth or just go live it? I have at least another 5 years at home with kids and intend to use that time to continue to build something here. This is where I am.

I’m also a Leo and a millennial , so delusions of grandeur, for better or worse, are deeply embedded and a title is something I simply feel I need to matter. So maybe the reconditioning of society’s (and my own) need for labels is really all that has to shift. To see value in all of us regardless of background, intentions, titles, diplomas, or otherwise. To release the idea of what I thought my life would hold and be present in the one I have. Conversely, there’s great freedom in anonymity, in being title-less, in wearing so many hats that I just don’t fit into a box, making it hard to be stereotyped. And I do like that feeling. Like going on a trip and oops you forgot your phone, so you can no longer be accountable to anyone but yourself and what’s right in front of you. After 7 years of being home with kids, I just feel a little itchy. Ready for a change, ready to develop a part of myself outside of motherhood. And that’s ok.

As I reflect upon the past seven years, it becomes apparent that a gift I have regardless of my title is community building and communication. While I may not be a gifted farmer, yet, I can create a community to share the journey and that is something for which I’m truly grateful. It’s the piece that has surprised me most. Our ability to pick up and move and have a loving, supportive community wherever we are. What a blessing! So through my insecurities of living as a human in our modern society naked of all labels, I have confidence whatever comes next, title or not, will be met with open arms from all of you.

What does my babbling mean for you all? We’re having a sale! As we further refine how we want to use our land, our time, and energy, we need to clear our current inventory to pave the way for a fresh start in the spring.

Everything in the Mercantile will be 7% off in honor of our seven years here, until we are sold out. I’ll mark the prices down accordingly so you don’t have to do the specific math when you visit. The lamb went to the butcher in June, and it’s best used within 6 months. So, we’d really love to clear the freezers and keep it moving.

What will be on sale?

• Fairshare Farm Ferments: pickles, sauerkraut, hot sauce, carrot pickles, elderberry vinegar
• Golden Rule Honey: raw and local
• Marion Milling Flour: Bread Flour and All Purpose Flour
• Shelti Farm Tub Teas
• Lamb: ground, chops, shoulder roast, leg of lamb. Contact me for information about purchasing in bulk.
• Beeswax Candles: 10″ tapers, and beehive votives

Bread Update:

I will be baking bread upon request only for the remainder of the year while the mercantile is open. Please send me a message on FB, IG, or text/email to let me know. This could look like a loaf or two weekly for your family on a set day, or it could be for a certain event. After this, I’m going to really sit with continuing to bake for the community or not. I love sourdough but I think I would probably rather teach you to bake rather than bake for you. We’ll see!

Yarn:

Since we sold the majority of our flock of sheep, the yarn we had processed is simply too valuable to me to sell. So, we will not be selling any of our yarn knowing it may be the only bit we have in the foreseeable future. Seeing our kids in wool we watched grow is priceless.

What’s Next?

We love what we’ve built with the mercantile and with the direction we are moving towards with it as it relates to other local makers. Most of the shifts for next season only concern ourselves as producers. We’re asking ourselves a lot of questions like what do we produce here on our farm to sell? What do we do just for ourselves? What do we want to share in other capacities like classes? And how do we want to use our space: publicly, privately, or a blend. We have had a taste of many ways to enjoy it so far and can further narrow what really works best for us in our current season. In short, expect the mercantile to continue seasonally, no more lamb meat sold next year (as mentioned last month), more plant foods for sale from us, and possibly less bread. Also, a return to social media for me. I’ve decided to get over myself and rejoin the rest of the world. It’s unfair for me to make my own issues with it into everyone else’s problem. So, while I may take intermittent breaks as needed, I’ll mostly be available to contact there. And I’ll just have to find some balance with enjoying the best bits it offers while minimizing the rest, like the absolute time-suck of scrolling. A battle we all fight.

Animal Update:

We successfully re-homed 19 sheep and 2 dogs since the last newsletter. It was hard saying goodbye but it feels like a relief to know all of those animals are in loving and purposeful homes. The owners adore them and have followed up with us since they left. One notable update is Saoirse. Many of you may remember her rescue story from the Christmas before last. She was in serious need of veterinary care, which we eventually got her, then we discovered she was pregnant. She had 7 healthy puppies and was the best mom. Since we greatly reduced our flock size we simply couldn’t have that many guardian dogs, and two of them got new homes. She and her son Shadow, we kept Cu, our old guy. We have also come to terms that he’s a senior dog these days and is being treated as such. Saoirse went to a home where she has a fancy GPS collar, gets to roam her space all day and night guarding, and spend time with babies. Her new owner shared a photo of her in her new favorite place, with the baby chicks.

Life is full of surprises. I have said more than once in my life, “I would never get rid of an animal that’s mine, I think it’s wrong.” Well turns out the older I get and more I live, I see there are all kinds of scenarios and I am less quick to judge. And in these situations, all 21 of these animals are better off because of this decision. We thought we’d have her forever but turns out we were here to foster her while she healed and got her to the right place. And maybe that’s what this newsletter is all about. Permission to grow, permission to shed, and permission to evolve.